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Subject: The calls I get...
Yesterday I answered the phone, and had the pleasure of listening to a confused, elderly gent on the other end of the line explain that he was ringing about his car insurance. I politely explained that we were not an insurance company, but he was having none of it. "But I'm looking for Allianz Insurance!" he protested. I assured him that we were not they, and that he seems to have mis-dialed. I exhorted him to try again, but he kept interrupting and reading off the phone number and sounding as if he were about to slip into a panic at this terrible setback. He begged me, "How can I reach Allianz then!?"
I replied "I would suggest trying again, but this time press the correct buttons in the proper order."
He thanked me and I hung up the phone. Meanwhile, my father in the next room nearly fell out of his chair laughing.
Today a woman calls. She's employed at one of our customer's sites, and she had a dead monitor. She wanted a replacement FPS box. I asked her what an FPS box was, and she didn't know. She was sure though that the monitor didn't work. I asked her how she knew it was dead, and she repeated it doesn't work. I asked her to describe the symptoms that led her to this conclusion, and she said "I can't see anything." I assumed she wasn't in a cave without electricity, and pressed on. She said there was a problem with the cable.
Which cable, I asked. She wasn't sure. The black one, maybe. What does it connect to, I asked. She wasn't sure, the FPS box?
Is it the video cable? No, she was sure it was power. It had a black box on the cable. I asked her what the cable end looked like, and she wasn't sure. Is it kind of D-shaped, with three holes in it? I asked. No, it was kind of... not like that. She helpfully added "There's a hole for it in the monitor."
I asked what kind of monitor it was, and she told me it was a touchscreen. I clarified that I was looking for the manufacturer and model, and she said it was a Digipos. The model was also Digipos.
Tired of this, I told her "I'm going to call the supplier we bought it from, and ask him to describe this unit to me using words I understand."
And she apologized to me, which might have been the strangest way to end this call.
I replied "I would suggest trying again, but this time press the correct buttons in the proper order."
He thanked me and I hung up the phone. Meanwhile, my father in the next room nearly fell out of his chair laughing.
Today a woman calls. She's employed at one of our customer's sites, and she had a dead monitor. She wanted a replacement FPS box. I asked her what an FPS box was, and she didn't know. She was sure though that the monitor didn't work. I asked her how she knew it was dead, and she repeated it doesn't work. I asked her to describe the symptoms that led her to this conclusion, and she said "I can't see anything." I assumed she wasn't in a cave without electricity, and pressed on. She said there was a problem with the cable.
Which cable, I asked. She wasn't sure. The black one, maybe. What does it connect to, I asked. She wasn't sure, the FPS box?
Is it the video cable? No, she was sure it was power. It had a black box on the cable. I asked her what the cable end looked like, and she wasn't sure. Is it kind of D-shaped, with three holes in it? I asked. No, it was kind of... not like that. She helpfully added "There's a hole for it in the monitor."
I asked what kind of monitor it was, and she told me it was a touchscreen. I clarified that I was looking for the manufacturer and model, and she said it was a Digipos. The model was also Digipos.
Tired of this, I told her "I'm going to call the supplier we bought it from, and ask him to describe this unit to me using words I understand."
And she apologized to me, which might have been the strangest way to end this call.
BLEARGH
This post was edited on 2010-07-13, 09:54 by 
] and sometimes people give out waaaaaay too much information to me. The below is one such call I received about three years ago from a male flight attendant:
